Ultimate Excuses for Getting a Day Off Work

Call in too well to go to work.

My dog swallowed my car keys.

get a green sharpie and color your whole face with is and say you are sick

your child is sick

im constipated

Explosive diarrhea, they won't ask any questions.

sick, flat tire, family emergency, kids sick, snow

im sick and not feeling good......

i got th runs, gota take my g/f to th docz, ummmm thts all i know lolz

funeral, if it's true

tell them you think you are pregnant........who knows, it might work

Your neighbor is drunk and passed out in there car, which is blocking you in!

jury duty, I just say they need somebody with intelligence to show up.

Say you hafta go to the doctor, and then you got held back because he mistook somthing for cancer so he had to run a seiries of long tests on you. LOL

That you have a genetal warts out break and can't walk becuase it burn and itches.

I have anal glaucoma, I can't see my Azz coming into work today.

during winter...my oil burner went out and i have to be home for the guy to come. or i caught a stomach virus... go into detail and freak them out tell them you have been throwing up like the girl in the exorcist

I'm really sick and my fever is contagious.

"i know it sounds crazy sir but..my toe is stuck in the tap focet"

Tell them that you came down with a case of the stupids. They'll likely believe you.

family emergency

Ill, child is ill, hospital or dental appointment

just tell them.......personal reasons. works everytime !

i saw Elvis at the laundromat

If I come in, I'm going to have to kill somebody. Works every time....LOL.

ALIENS ABDUCTED ME!!!!!!!!!

I lost the only set of keys that i have to my vechicle and everybody has alreaddy left for work that I know and I haven't anyone I can call to bring me in

gee boss, i have red spots all over my body, should i come to work or what sir???

Tell them you got injuries from chores

For an example you were headge trimming tell them you got a nasty wound and on the next day grab a bandage color it with a red marker stick it on you finger *or where ever* and go to work that day

GOT YOUR PERIOD,AND YOU HAVE BAD CRAMPS...YOU HAVE THE FLU,YOUR CAR WON'T START,YOUR LONG LOST AUNT MAY DIED,OR WAS FOUND...DON'T FOR GET IF YOUR CALLING OUT SICK FOR THE LONG WEEKEND YOU MIGHT NOT GET PAID...


you couldn't get your car to start, so you started walking to work, but then some crazy guy got hit by a car so you went to help him but in the process got robbed and then a motorcycle hit you and you got knocked unconscious. that should cover you


Your water tank is leaking through the roof so you have to wait for the plumber to come out!

You have food poisoning...

You were with a friend last night who has sickness and diarrhea, you are feeling ever so queasy so you better not come in because you might give it to them!

You got locked out of the house this morning so you aren't even dressed and you are waiting for the man to come let you in and replace your locks, he's busy so he will get to you when he can!

Say your spouse planned a surprise getaway and booked everything up (car, flight, hotel)

BEST: your dog, friends dog, or watever animal of someone you know hasn't been eating, and has thrown up more than once, your the only one that can get it to the vet today.

puking ( call in) family emergenct dr appt court date ( pres schedule )

You have an appointment with a specialist.

Call up and tell ur boss that somebody is expried. But make sure that the persone is already no more

I'm in love.. try it if you boss is a woman.