The last company I worked for sucked.
I won't need much I have lots of office supplies from my old job.
You don't make us pee in a cup do you?
At my last job I was so smart no body liked me.
I can;t stand it when people want me to do stuff all the time.
Every one was always telling lies about me.
I dated your daughter.
She is a hot little number.
I hated my job. I couldn't get along with the manager. Nobody liked me. Customers are idiots. Can I have this weekend off? How much are you going to pay me and when can I get a raise? How many breaks do I get? What is your drug/alcohol policy? Do you do drug tests?
How long do I have to work before I can take my disability leave?
I did your wife last night. I did your daughter right after I did your wife. If you are lucky, I will do you tonight.
I really hate working.
What is your policy about coming in late and leaving early?
The competition is better, but they aren't hiring.
I was busted at my last job for selling company secrets
Wanna hit?
You might not want to ask them about drinking on the job.
Leave out about wanting to get paid more than you should.
I don't like to get up early of the weekends.
Sometimes when I am stress out, I turn off my phone, and nobody can bother me until I call them??
If this job does not pay more then my last job, I probably don't want it??
How soon can I call in sick or have car trouble before I will get paid?
I would like to walk through the unit now to check out the people that I will have to work with. I am being honest, there are some races of people that I do not get along with.
How long do you have to work here to get promoted to your job?
Does this company have a public relations department where you can file a complaint if something is not right in your unit??
Wednesday, 5 September 2007
Ultimate Money Saving Secrets
Save money on your groceries by following these tips
1. Only grocery shop every 2 or 3 weeks - you'll
spend less than going every week. (i.e. If your
weekly grocery bill is $130 then you'd spend
$390 shopping every week. If you only shop
once over that 3 weeks you'll spend $320.)
2. Buy in bulk to pay less per pound on items you
can freeze or store for long periods of time. You
can break down the packages once you get home
into the size you will use the item in, then store it;
or cook up large amounts of food, then freeze the
meals to defrost later.
3. Don't shop for food when you're hungry or craving
a certain type of food to eat.
4. Even if you're just running in for a few things you
need to tide you over until your big shopping trip,
use coupons & check ads.
5. Make a List...keeps you on track and makes it easier to pass up things you don't need.
7. Cut coupons...some places have double coupons.
8. Buy off or generic brands...for example: Wal-Mart generic brand great value are surplus of name brands which means you get the same product for less.
9. Don't take the children...they will run up your bill faster than anything. "I want this, I want that...blahblahblah"
10. Set a time limit...gets you through the store quickly. No time to browse, no unintended purchases.
11. Pay no attention to the things around the counter. Stay focused on the task at hand.
12. Don't pay for groceries with a credit card.
13. Buy whole chickens on sale and learn to cut them up yourself.
14. Buy whole vegetables and cut them up for salads instead of buying bagged salad.
15. Avoid the freezer and prepackaged sections of the store entirely if you can.
16. uy items on sale and in bulk. Watch for case-lot sales of foods you actually use.
17. Cook from scratch. Homemade bread, pies, cookies, even candies are much cheaper than store bought.
18. Make 2 weeks worth of menus, breakfast, lunch and dinner for all 14 days. Make a list of ingredients needed for those menus. Check the pantry and fridge. Write a list of all things needed to make the menus you will need from store. Purchase at different stores according to sales and coupons.
19. At home,, divide up the foods into baggies, chopping and measuring. label each one according to the menu. Store in fridge or freezer .
20. Never buy anything on impulse. Only buy items you know you will use. Avoid pre-packaged meals that come in boxes or are sold in the freezer case.
21. Don't buy baked goods from the bakery. Buy store brands instead of national brands. Check out the discount bin.
22. Avoid boxed cereals. Make oatmeal instead.
23. Cosider every item you pick up in the store as (do I really need this).
24. Avoid sugary snack stuff. It's expensive and besides it's noy good for you.
25. Buy more chicken and turkey, It's generally less expensive than red meat.
1. Only grocery shop every 2 or 3 weeks - you'll
spend less than going every week. (i.e. If your
weekly grocery bill is $130 then you'd spend
$390 shopping every week. If you only shop
once over that 3 weeks you'll spend $320.)
2. Buy in bulk to pay less per pound on items you
can freeze or store for long periods of time. You
can break down the packages once you get home
into the size you will use the item in, then store it;
or cook up large amounts of food, then freeze the
meals to defrost later.
3. Don't shop for food when you're hungry or craving
a certain type of food to eat.
4. Even if you're just running in for a few things you
need to tide you over until your big shopping trip,
use coupons & check ads.
5. Make a List...keeps you on track and makes it easier to pass up things you don't need.
7. Cut coupons...some places have double coupons.
8. Buy off or generic brands...for example: Wal-Mart generic brand great value are surplus of name brands which means you get the same product for less.
9. Don't take the children...they will run up your bill faster than anything. "I want this, I want that...blahblahblah"
10. Set a time limit...gets you through the store quickly. No time to browse, no unintended purchases.
11. Pay no attention to the things around the counter. Stay focused on the task at hand.
12. Don't pay for groceries with a credit card.
13. Buy whole chickens on sale and learn to cut them up yourself.
14. Buy whole vegetables and cut them up for salads instead of buying bagged salad.
15. Avoid the freezer and prepackaged sections of the store entirely if you can.
16. uy items on sale and in bulk. Watch for case-lot sales of foods you actually use.
17. Cook from scratch. Homemade bread, pies, cookies, even candies are much cheaper than store bought.
18. Make 2 weeks worth of menus, breakfast, lunch and dinner for all 14 days. Make a list of ingredients needed for those menus. Check the pantry and fridge. Write a list of all things needed to make the menus you will need from store. Purchase at different stores according to sales and coupons.
19. At home,, divide up the foods into baggies, chopping and measuring. label each one according to the menu. Store in fridge or freezer .
20. Never buy anything on impulse. Only buy items you know you will use. Avoid pre-packaged meals that come in boxes or are sold in the freezer case.
21. Don't buy baked goods from the bakery. Buy store brands instead of national brands. Check out the discount bin.
22. Avoid boxed cereals. Make oatmeal instead.
23. Cosider every item you pick up in the store as (do I really need this).
24. Avoid sugary snack stuff. It's expensive and besides it's noy good for you.
25. Buy more chicken and turkey, It's generally less expensive than red meat.
Sunday, 2 September 2007
Ultimate Excuses for Getting a Day Off Work
Call in too well to go to work.
My dog swallowed my car keys.
get a green sharpie and color your whole face with is and say you are sick
your child is sick
im constipated
Explosive diarrhea, they won't ask any questions.
sick, flat tire, family emergency, kids sick, snow
im sick and not feeling good......
i got th runs, gota take my g/f to th docz, ummmm thts all i know lolz
funeral, if it's true
tell them you think you are pregnant........who knows, it might work
Your neighbor is drunk and passed out in there car, which is blocking you in!
jury duty, I just say they need somebody with intelligence to show up.
Say you hafta go to the doctor, and then you got held back because he mistook somthing for cancer so he had to run a seiries of long tests on you. LOL
That you have a genetal warts out break and can't walk becuase it burn and itches.
I have anal glaucoma, I can't see my Azz coming into work today.
during winter...my oil burner went out and i have to be home for the guy to come. or i caught a stomach virus... go into detail and freak them out tell them you have been throwing up like the girl in the exorcist
I'm really sick and my fever is contagious.
"i know it sounds crazy sir but..my toe is stuck in the tap focet"
Tell them that you came down with a case of the stupids. They'll likely believe you.
family emergency
Ill, child is ill, hospital or dental appointment
just tell them.......personal reasons. works everytime !
i saw Elvis at the laundromat
If I come in, I'm going to have to kill somebody. Works every time....LOL.
ALIENS ABDUCTED ME!!!!!!!!!
I lost the only set of keys that i have to my vechicle and everybody has alreaddy left for work that I know and I haven't anyone I can call to bring me in
gee boss, i have red spots all over my body, should i come to work or what sir???
Tell them you got injuries from chores
For an example you were headge trimming tell them you got a nasty wound and on the next day grab a bandage color it with a red marker stick it on you finger *or where ever* and go to work that day
GOT YOUR PERIOD,AND YOU HAVE BAD CRAMPS...YOU HAVE THE FLU,YOUR CAR WON'T START,YOUR LONG LOST AUNT MAY DIED,OR WAS FOUND...DON'T FOR GET IF YOUR CALLING OUT SICK FOR THE LONG WEEKEND YOU MIGHT NOT GET PAID...
you couldn't get your car to start, so you started walking to work, but then some crazy guy got hit by a car so you went to help him but in the process got robbed and then a motorcycle hit you and you got knocked unconscious. that should cover you
Your water tank is leaking through the roof so you have to wait for the plumber to come out!
You have food poisoning...
You were with a friend last night who has sickness and diarrhea, you are feeling ever so queasy so you better not come in because you might give it to them!
You got locked out of the house this morning so you aren't even dressed and you are waiting for the man to come let you in and replace your locks, he's busy so he will get to you when he can!
Say your spouse planned a surprise getaway and booked everything up (car, flight, hotel)
BEST: your dog, friends dog, or watever animal of someone you know hasn't been eating, and has thrown up more than once, your the only one that can get it to the vet today.
puking ( call in) family emergenct dr appt court date ( pres schedule )
You have an appointment with a specialist.
Call up and tell ur boss that somebody is expried. But make sure that the persone is already no more
I'm in love.. try it if you boss is a woman.
My dog swallowed my car keys.
get a green sharpie and color your whole face with is and say you are sick
your child is sick
im constipated
Explosive diarrhea, they won't ask any questions.
sick, flat tire, family emergency, kids sick, snow
im sick and not feeling good......
i got th runs, gota take my g/f to th docz, ummmm thts all i know lolz
funeral, if it's true
tell them you think you are pregnant........who knows, it might work
Your neighbor is drunk and passed out in there car, which is blocking you in!
jury duty, I just say they need somebody with intelligence to show up.
Say you hafta go to the doctor, and then you got held back because he mistook somthing for cancer so he had to run a seiries of long tests on you. LOL
That you have a genetal warts out break and can't walk becuase it burn and itches.
I have anal glaucoma, I can't see my Azz coming into work today.
during winter...my oil burner went out and i have to be home for the guy to come. or i caught a stomach virus... go into detail and freak them out tell them you have been throwing up like the girl in the exorcist
I'm really sick and my fever is contagious.
"i know it sounds crazy sir but..my toe is stuck in the tap focet"
Tell them that you came down with a case of the stupids. They'll likely believe you.
family emergency
Ill, child is ill, hospital or dental appointment
just tell them.......personal reasons. works everytime !
i saw Elvis at the laundromat
If I come in, I'm going to have to kill somebody. Works every time....LOL.
ALIENS ABDUCTED ME!!!!!!!!!
I lost the only set of keys that i have to my vechicle and everybody has alreaddy left for work that I know and I haven't anyone I can call to bring me in
gee boss, i have red spots all over my body, should i come to work or what sir???
Tell them you got injuries from chores
For an example you were headge trimming tell them you got a nasty wound and on the next day grab a bandage color it with a red marker stick it on you finger *or where ever* and go to work that day
GOT YOUR PERIOD,AND YOU HAVE BAD CRAMPS...YOU HAVE THE FLU,YOUR CAR WON'T START,YOUR LONG LOST AUNT MAY DIED,OR WAS FOUND...DON'T FOR GET IF YOUR CALLING OUT SICK FOR THE LONG WEEKEND YOU MIGHT NOT GET PAID...
you couldn't get your car to start, so you started walking to work, but then some crazy guy got hit by a car so you went to help him but in the process got robbed and then a motorcycle hit you and you got knocked unconscious. that should cover you
Your water tank is leaking through the roof so you have to wait for the plumber to come out!
You have food poisoning...
You were with a friend last night who has sickness and diarrhea, you are feeling ever so queasy so you better not come in because you might give it to them!
You got locked out of the house this morning so you aren't even dressed and you are waiting for the man to come let you in and replace your locks, he's busy so he will get to you when he can!
Say your spouse planned a surprise getaway and booked everything up (car, flight, hotel)
BEST: your dog, friends dog, or watever animal of someone you know hasn't been eating, and has thrown up more than once, your the only one that can get it to the vet today.
puking ( call in) family emergenct dr appt court date ( pres schedule )
You have an appointment with a specialist.
Call up and tell ur boss that somebody is expried. But make sure that the persone is already no more
I'm in love.. try it if you boss is a woman.
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